Not just about songs about boys. Saturday, November 15, 2008. It had been 19 months and in that time both my tonsils and hearing had been thieved. A rainy, crazy humid November night was the perfect time to make a comeback, it seems. My voice had been clawing and begging its way up my windpipe trying to get out for months, it had earned a night out in the little town of the east village.

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My real life is dumb. Do you feel better now. So i can be lonelier.

Even as there was no blindfold, i was not to look at him. During the long ride into the countryside, i watched as the snowstorm gradually engulfed us. To give me the appearance of being dressed, he placed his black coat and cap over me. In the car he had the vents on full, training all their cold air toward me. Perhaps an hour had passed in silence when we came to a destination. He brought out a bottle of water. i drank and soon the bottle was empty.

You Are So Beautiful is something only heard directly before sex. And I Love You is something entirely different from I Am In Love With You. And i know these things, so now. I will only dream of people i have never met. And each morning i will feel some absurd sense of loss. How does a person utilize body language and tone of voice and diction such that their conversational partner does not accidentally think that the person wants to be anywhere but there? I seem to have forgotten. So here is a pen.