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She crouches in owl pose on the dog eaten bookcase, next to the window overlooking the driveway, little feet perched among soccer cleats and shin guards. I pause as I pass by. She wraps her arms around my neck, tightly, too tightly and plants small seedlike kisses all around my cheeks. Sometimes her little chin trembles and her eyes well up, which I hate because our eyes are mirrors. This last one prompted the opportunity to wear her pink pliable plastic heart.

From Dolly Partons, to Milk Cartons. Bloody nora and strike me down with a wet lettuce, but the 12th December has finally arrived. Bit like most days really, it appeared after the one before. What the actual fuck is that upturned wok attached to your chest? But today, they. Dr Elf on the Shelf.

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